Ever feel like you’re beating your head against the wall with your kids?
You try and try and try to make things work the way you want them to, and they just don’t cooperate…
Well here’s a story that taught me a parenting lesson that will help you save your sanity.
Recently, I decided to try stand up Paddle Boarding. I wasn’t sure I could do it, but went for it anyway. I thought it would be tricky to balance and that I’d fall off.
But so far so good. The balance is way easier that I thought, and over the past month, I haven’t fallen off. In fact it’s quite relaxing.
But this week I had a different experience.
I rent my paddleboard from the Recreation Commission down at the lake (sometimes I feel so good about paying taxes because they support programs like this!). I’ve been going almost daily and last Wednesday the regular staff person I was expecting was off and there was a different person there.
He told me my favourite board wasn’t the best for me and that the paddle I was using was too short.
I was a bit miffed at this new guy telling me I was doing it wrong, but whatever. I love water sports and was not too concerned about the change-up in my gear.
So I took out his recommended different board and paddle.
I got on my board, stood up, and paddled away.
But this time it was hard work, much harder than usual. So I just kept paddling harder and harder and…
I ended up going in circles.
So I kept working harder and harder still, determined to get where I wanted to go. I thought it was my technique.
And just when I thought I figured it out, the board just turned around in a circle again.
And again.
With great frustration on my part, I started blaming the new guy who told me to use this board and paddle.
And then, as I was getting nowhere and really making the new guy wrong for his crappy equipment recommendations, a woman who was 75 or 80 years old, went by on her paddleboard.
“You’re on backwards, dear” she said.
What?!
I looked down at my board and I was obviously on backwards.
I had been so sure the guy who rented me the board was wrong that I didn’t notice what was in front of me.
Well, did I ever get a good laugh out of that!
The lesson: sometimes things are so obvious that you can’t see them.
As a parent, you can all get bent out of shape when your kids are acting up.
You keep working harder and harder trying to get them to do what you want, when actually, they are just hungry or tired.
Or YOU are hungry and tired.
Or they just need to run around outside for a while.
Or you are asking them to do something that is beyond their developmental capacity.
Like asking a toddler to share… uhg.
In other words, you are “paddling backwards” with them and you’ll never get them to do what you want unless YOU see what’s happening and turn around.
So, I’ve learned my lesson.
Look for the obvious. Look at what is really going on in front of you.
Then paddle straight ahead.
