As parents, most of us feel a great deal of time pressure. We have so many responsibilities in and out of the home, and we just seem to be rushing, rushing rushing.
And we rush our children along with us. Time for preschool, time for soccer, time for music lessons, time for a playdate, time to go shopping. Some children love the hustle and bustle – but many children don’t. Most parents of young children will agree that the process of being “on time” frequently results in meltdowns and/or tantrums of one sort or another.
Why is that? Because young children’s sense of time is nothing like ours. They are where they are, and what they are doing right now is what is important to them. Children get fully absorbed and they move at a pace that suits them. Even though very young children have a very short attention span, they are fully absorbed in moving from activity to activity, touching this, trying that, exploring and discovering their world. And as they get older and their attention spans increase, they can become deeply absorbed in their play and time simply disappears for them.
Interrupting children’s “immersion” in their activities feels very disruptive to them and they naturally balk at it. The age old technique of giving them “five minute notice” certainly helps the transition, but it’s still disruptive. Its similar to how we feel when we are deep in a book, losing all track of time, and the phone rings. If it were socially acceptable, we’d probably have a tantrum too!
By their very nature children “stop and smell the roses”. In fact, they are constantly smelling the roses and we have to make them stop and get dressed, or get out the door, or do this or do that. Not that those things aren’t important sometimes. But it’s good to get some perspective as to what is really important, how we want to really live, and how we want our children to live.
As I am writing this I am looking out my window. There is a mom walking along the pathway in front of my house. She has a baby in a front carrier, and a preschooler running ahead, then running back to her. Their dog is scampering along back and forth as well. The little girl stops to splash in a puddle, then finds a pile of snow and jumps into that. Another dog comes along and starts to play with their dog. The little girl stops everything to watch them. They are all, in the real sense, “out of time” and just enjoying. They have hardly made any progress down the path – but so much living is happening. And this kind of living is just as important, if not more so, than all of our “commitments”.
Our children grow up so quickly. Suddenly your newborn is a toddler, and before you know it you’re a grandparent attending your grandchild’s wedding.
So when you find yourself adding yet another activity or responsibility into your family’s life, think twice about it. Is it really the best thing for your family?
Take your time – enjoy your time – and share it generously with your children. Life will be that much sweeter.
